rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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