yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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