It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
