Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
