She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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