last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
