More tranny stories later!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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