Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
