I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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