im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
