Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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