I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
