Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
