She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im holly from the hills drunk
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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