i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
