Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Oh god it's open bar.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
