ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
