so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
