She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
