I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
