is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
