Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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