Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
