thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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