I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
