its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The adults are the big ones right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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