It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
