Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
its liver damage thursday
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
