My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My feet surprised me
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