Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
