dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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