Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this beer tastes like vomit already
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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