Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
