My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
