I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
