oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the liver wants what the liver wants
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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