Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
