He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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