She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
