shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
