when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
