the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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