ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
