Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
