We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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