yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
