On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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