his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
