Someone shit on the floor
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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