I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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