i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
