Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
