There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
