That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
