Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
