Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
