I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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