My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
