Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He felt like a one man threesome
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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