I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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