He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
