Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize