Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
