How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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