I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
