is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize